Overwhelming emotions.

She was there a tall slim figure standing, staring at me with her dark brown eyes and dimpled smile. Her hair caressing over her cheeks and falling on her shoulder. Although her eyes looked tired, they were still bright as ever.  She was twenty one now, a grown young woman. She was there, telling me,

“You’ve got this. Pull yourself together. You were always strong and independent. And that’s how grown ups are.”

Her mom entered the room with a glass of milk, only to find her talking to herself in front of the mirror.

Mom & Dad. Parents are such wonderful creatures. Aren’t they? They cannot see you cry, but they cry when you aren’t too well. They see you grown up beautifully, yet look at you like the same nine year old kid who was once reluctant to go to school.

I always thought growing up would be all fun and games. How I wish that were true. But nevertheless I have come to a realisation that Adults are just kids with money. Come on, everybody is a kid at heart. Don’t tell me you never liked munching on the last of your candies or watching that one movie you fangirled over.
The phase of growing had us all occupied, that we had failed to notice we had grown. The realisation hit you hard, like a splash of cold water on your face. But, it was already too late.

  • I realised I had grown up when, my opinion mattered in a family discussion.
    I realised I had grown up when, I started putting my family in front of me.
    I realised I had grown up when, when I said, the mess food was good although it was a piece of shit. So that my parents weren’t worried about me.
    I realised I had grown up when, when I said ‘I am fine.’ with a smile on my face, even though I was breaking from inside.
    I realised I had grown up when, when I accepted the reality and moved on, instead of crying over the spilt milk.

Sigh, the last one was dramatic. Wasn’t it? Let’s clear that one, for this time.
However, you get my point, right?

Being a kid was so easy, all you had to do was wake up, go to school, have fun and come back home. I couldn’t wait to grow up. Now that I’ve been an adult for just about 1 year and say 2 months, I assure you. I don’t fancy it. You might think I’ve been exaggerating it a tad bit, too long. Excuse me miss/sir, I’ve had to deal with fair amount of boomerang emotions of stress, happiness, anger and ecstasy. Humans call it life, I might have forgotten to mention that along the lines.

Every adult is a grown child who knows how to disclose their emotions a little too well.

**Caution: Do not bother reading what’s written next, if you don’t like the facts being thrown your way.**

But this phase of transformation in itself is beautiful. You think you are right and everyone else is wrong. You are keen on doing something you are told to not do. You find little joy in miniature accomplishment, Adults call it ‘The milestone to the adulthood.’ You start receiving that newly formed respect that you’ve always yearned for.Eventually, everyone starts judging you.

Oh, look at the clothes she’s wearing, she has no sense of clothing.

Look at the way she’s speaking, she has no manners.

She doesn’t speak, she must be arrogant.

Look at the way she’s responding, she must have no values.

Let me make one thing clear, love. People are going to judge you no matter what. You cannot live a happy life trying to please the people around you. You will be called something or said something that you’re not, because it doesn’t fit well with their expectations.

Fear not, for thy shall always remain strong. No matter what.

Also, the look in your parents eyes changes. Just kidding, you will always remain that naughty little brat, that ate too many chocolates without their notice and got caught. HEHE.

Heartwarming, isn’t it? I might as well let you decide for yourself. Enough preaching for one post.

If you find yourself nodding to the above written paragraph, you my friend are undergoing that transformation. Good luck for your future endeavours.

Incase you are still reading me rant about adulthood and growing up. You are curious. I like you, you little rebel. Thank you for bearing with this little random outburst of mine.

Signing off. The little kid at heart.
~Sayonara fellas! Have a grand day. 

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Memory down the lane.

One fine evening, while the sun’s setting. From the window sill of your room with a melancholic view.
Wearing a gown, your raven hair turned crystal white.
Teeth tattering and a cold breeze blowing. You shall be sitting on the rocking chair. Rocking on and forth, reminiscing about the good ol’ days.
How things have changed, how life has turned out for you.
‎You’ll listen to the horn of school bus passing by your street.
‎The bell rings and the door opens.
‎You hear a pair of tiny footsteps clicking on the floor.
‎The pace fastens and you hear the voice of the child coming closer. Those tiny little fingers wraps around your neck with a cheerful greeting, “hello grandma, I’m back.”
That’s the day you will realise, the decisions you’ve made. The hearts you’ve broken , and the hearts you’ve won. Are the days you crave.
For the people you’ve lost remain in the memories you’ve made, that won’t fade.
So when that day comes, smile with no regrets. Because these are one in a billion things, you’d never wish to trade.

~Aloha!

Presence of mind: Saves you the trouble of detention.

It was a lazy rainy afternoon, almost half past one. Math sir entered the class. The class had already begun.

Symbols and a few pieces of multiple integrals were scrawled hastily on the black board demanding everyone’s attention.

Some listening to the class, while others paid no heed, busy on their phones. The back benchers in their own world, fighting for their chance to game among themselves.

Suddenly, sir picked up two of the naughtiest students in the class(also the back benchers) to the front and asked, “What do you need to solve the question?”

By now, sir was half mad. For most of us weren’t paying attention to the class. The first one had no idea what it was about and replied, “Sir, we need wit & formula to answer the question.”

Sir then turned to the second guy and repeated the same question in a slightly irritated tone. Poor soul, a detention was assured. Everybody knew he didn’t know the answer.

But what happened next was completely unexpected and hilarious.

The second guy, unsure of himself. Smiling, in a sheepish tone replied, “Sir we need YOU to solve the question.”

There was a moment of silence in the class and then everyone burst into a fits of hysterical laughter including the angry professor himself. After a few moments, sir dismissed them saying, “You both always get away.” And, the class was dismissed. Thanks to him, the class was dismissed.

This guy might have been weak at math, oh to hell with that. But he definitely had the presence of mind to deal with the situation. Had it not been a witty reply laced with a sly hint of sarcasm, both of them would have suffered an hour long detention.

And for the rest of us? We would have had to endure his boring lecture for another half an hour.

Thinking outside of the box has definitely had it’s perks. At least in this case.

~Sayonara! 

-Happy Reading. 🙂

Electric Emotions.

Electric emotions ready to spark,

Quiver like a bow inside my heart.

The skies are blue and the water’s clean,

Still my heart fills with electricity.

When all around is collected and calm,

My emotions inside create a storm.

Why must my heart always go to extremes?

I must have great winds,

Not a cool wind breeze.

Overwhelming electricity gives me a shock,

Fall away for the wire is hot.

The sea inside is wavy and warm,

A twister contrived of shapes and forms.

Trying to calm my mind,

Trying to soothe my heart,

But instincts make me too alert.

Yet my electric emotions lose their speed.

As they fly from the paper, finally freed.

Amou Haji

Very recently, while I was scrolling through the news feed of quora I came across this out of the blue question that read, “What is something you read recently and is worth sharing?”

In general, the response was pretty fascinating covering wide range of topics, that included Pareto’s principle, cardiovascular facts, audio-visual information and what not. But one of the responses from a Quoran caught my eye. She spoke about AMOU HAJI.

What’s the first thought that comes to your mind? A scientist. A celebrity. CEO of an infamous company? Sorry to burst your bubble.  None of them.

He’s the dirtiest man alive on the planet.  A man who believes cleanliness brings him sickness. A man who hasn’t had a decent shower for over 64 years now.  Bizzare, isn’t it? A fact that blowed my mind. This is not it. There’s more to know about this unusual lifestyle of this man.

haji 2

What sets him apart from others? I’m sure there’s a huge population out there that hasn’t had a decent shower over a long time. His lifestyle is entirely different from that of the others.

  1. He has had a troubled childhood. It is claimed that Haji had an emotional setback in his youth. However, he refuses to mention what they are. Wonder what struggle he went through.
  2. He feeds on dead porcupines and drinks water from a large rusty can. Haven’t heard of humans having porcupines, let alone dead rotten porcupines. Doesn’t sound all that appetizing.                                                                                                                               haji 3
  3. He lives in a grave-like hole. The southern part of iran, in dejgah village is where Amou resides, in a partially looking grave like hole that shelters him from the weather.                                                                                                                                                                        home
  4. Now that we have come to terms that this hole like grave is not so comforting. He also prefers to live in a brick shack, that he refers to as a second home.
  5. We’ve had different methods to cut hair over the year’s advanced technology. Amou Haji cuts his hair by burning it with fire. Did you really expect him to use the scissors when he could just burn his hair? Double standards.
  6. He smokes animal poop. I’m sure, this man has taken the motto, “smoking is injurious to health” way too seriously. And doesn’t mind smoking 5 cigars at a time.    smoke

haji 1

It is noted that even the suggestion of bath makes him angry. This has managed to take a toll on him. He is the color of earth and blends in with the colour of the surroundings perfectly well if he were to sit still.

He has had an eccentric lifestyle and hasn’t given up the hope on finding the love of his life. Which is quite uncommon. Looks like someone has surpassed, Kailash Singh’s record.( Note the sarcasm.)

I shall not be held responsible if you crave a shower after reading this blogpost about his uncanny lifestyle. he seems to be living a happy life and continues to do so until he dies.

Given a chance, I’d really want to know, what made him take such a drastic decision and live a difficult life.  Is this a personality disorder? Or is this his way of dealing with his past? Nevertheless, quora never fails to amaze me when it comes to unraveling such stories.

Have a blissful day.

(excuse the sarcastic tone in this post.)

Image Source: Google

The Introverted ME.

Dear truth seeker,

I have always been a good listener. A thinker. A proverbial introvert. Of all things hidden inside, am I confident, silent or cheerful? (yet to know.) One day one of my classmate had pointed out the obvious that I only stuck to certain group of people and didn’t make much effort interacting with others. Thanks to them, I realised how introverted I was. Nothing wears me out more than people do. With their pettiness, drama and their little lies. I am not an extrovert. Crowds bore me and people tire me. I do not wish to know who did what to whom on a daily basis. I promise you, I don’t care. Life’s complicated enough without needing to puzzle out the details of everyone’s drama. (Don’t you think so?)

No matter how sweetly I smile or how deeply I listen to. Nothing pleases me more than curling up in my bed with the company of my books and thoughts. Maybe I put together my words well, but I would rather prefer to write and free myself to expression without having the burden of interaction with others. Perhaps, I could be the chronicler of your stories. Watching you from the side lines.

They won’t know my name at the end of the day. Despite all my efforts, my appearances won’t stay. And people keep wondering if they’ve met me or not. But you  know what? A smile and a greetings a lot.

I apologise if I seem rude, distant or unconcerned. Just know that once you’ve cracked my shell, you may like what you find. I’ll even give you a short tour of what’s going on up inside my mind.

YOU

2 am sitting alone in the dark, writing, while everyone’s asleep in their bed. Dreaming of their dreams.

They say you are defined by what you do, the way you act and respond to others. But have you ever given a thought, what actually defines you, “YOU”? It seems that everyone is defined by the things they are not. And they have forgotten their beauty, potential and their uniqueness in this world.

You are not your name,

Nor the dimples in your cheek.

You are not the position you are in,

Nor the room that you stay in.

You are not the size of clothes you wear,

Nor your age.

You are all the books you read,

And the words you speak.

You are the songs you sing loudly when you are all alone.

You are that croaky morning voice,

And all the smiles that you try to hide.

You are all the sweetness in your laughter,

and tears that you have shed.

You are all that places you have been to,

And the place you call home.

You are the things you believe in,

And the people you love.

You are the photos that you hang in your room,

And the future you dream of.

Never let anyone tell you otherwise. Because it doesn’t matter what others say. You are original and cannot be replaced.

Ostello

Ostello- Italian word for hostel.

*5 Months ago*

(Back during mid week of july)

Me: I am going to hostel tomorrow.

Friend: Oh, cheer up. I’m sure you’re going to have lots of fun. Besides, you get to live your hostel life to your fullest. Just like how they show in movies.

Me: We’ll get to know about that soon.

If only that were true..

*Present time*

Funny how things change so quickly. Just a few months ago I was in the comforts of my home having things done my way and the next I realise is I am stuck in the hostel. Now that I am here, I can say, it’s not how they show in films. Girls hostel doesn’t resemble a Victoria Secret’s Office. On the contrary, everyone in the morning looks like they just got hit by the bus, and dangerously in need of caffeine. You’d be surprised how effective it is. Also not everyone’s in a jealousy galore. Believe it or not, we all live together clicking selfies all day long. (Nevermind the selfie part). 

You miss home, homesick is what hits you hard. But you have your fair share of fun too. I could say it’s a bitter sweet memory to cherish, but at this point of time I really don’t know how it is. Don’t get me wrong, I like my hostel. I really do(if I say so myself) But it seems to be like an army life(seems too extreme? Guess not.) In terms of living, everyone is on their own yet, dependent on each other.

It’s not rainbows and sunshine all the time. If you weren’t a hosteller you would probably assume that the stereotyped version is how it works in reality. Well, not really..My sincerest apologies to those whose bubble just burst.Here’s what I’ve come to learn over these 5 months of being a hosteller-

  • Eating the mess food makes you immune to any kind of food.food-1

This is no  joke. There are days when the food is delicious. There are also days when you just feel like giving up on the idea of eating.

  • You become an expert in pulling night standers.

You not only know the importance of last minute studying sessions but even the night doesn’t seem like a pain, maybe because the entire hostel is up studying along with you for the test next day.

  • You know more than one way to save money.

One of the very few things I appreciate after staying in a hostel is the availability of hot water 24hrs and how to save money, trust me on this, this isn’t an exaggeration.

  • Nobody understands the importance of maggi at 1 am than us.

    maggi

Ever wondered how we survived when the food wasn’t good? MAGGI!! Ever wondered who suffered the most when maggi was banned? WE, There I said it.

  • You have nicknames for everyone from the hostel warden to the watchman.

Be it secretive to your squad or open to everyone. This is true for every hosteller. Believe me, when someone’s denying it, they are either lying or they live under a rock.

  • You learn to welcome any one in any odd hours of day or night.

Two months after staying in this place I realised you don’t really have to learn or put in too much effort to welcome someone. This is something that you get used to naturally.

All that being said, at the end of the day it teaches you to be independent whether you like it or not. Also, I have got some amazing roommates. So, I don’t have much to complain about.

Aloha! 🙂

Body Shaming

Tap tap…

My pen motioned on my desk, I sat there with my ideas flooding in without a rest, wondering what to write. My thoughts jumbled, while everyone else mumbled.Brainstorming on what to blog about. And it is then i realised that I could talk about body shaming. But  talking about it seems too mainstream. So here’s my meagre attempt to try and prevent ‘body shaming’ through this blogpost.body-shaming-2

She was pure, an innocent child.

For all her years.

She was always quiet and mild.

Everyone underestimated her,

Spreading rumours about her for laughter. No harm done.

It was only for fun, right? WRONG.

She was a pure innocent child.

Now her appearance is mild,

But her mind is wild,

She stops eating, as if her looks were competing.

She’s hungry, but doesn’t want to gain a pound.

She’s as skinny as a bone.

She’s losing weight by the week.

She’s getting oh so weak!

But when she looks at the mirror, that’s not what she sees,

When she looks at the mirror,

She sees what she was named, and what she’s called.

She sits in her room,

Hidden from the world full of gloom.

And that was the day she decided how it’ll end..

Because of their rumours, words and her own words., she took her life.

Left on her desk was a note why she decided to die.

Revealing all, even her last good bye..

.. body shaming 1.jpg

Grow up to become the GREATEST.

Everyone grows up,

Whether they become a doctor or a screw up,

Either way, they still grow up.

Some are proud and have courage,

While others shut up.

Some have better outcomes,

While others are stuck in a rut.

There’s always the kid that no one cares about,

Until they turn out to be the country’s leader.

There’s always a kid that no one thinks about,

Until they start a revolution without fear.

Nobody thinks about the kid in the corner,

Until they are the ones who end the war.

You never know,

If the kid that sits in a class,

Will be the one who decides,

To go and fight, and to serve, even if it means to crawl across broken glass.

The girl who never speaks,

Could become the one running through fire to save an innocent life.

The girl who bullied others,

Could grow up to become a wonderful mother.

The boy who always got into fights,

Could grow up to become an officer in the night.

The girl with amazing grades,

Could be the  first female to lead the squad.

The kid who was always picked on,

Will grow to teach kids to be strong.

The kid that you underestimated,

The kid that you mistreated,

The kid that you made feel misplaced,

The kid that you made feel misunderstood,

The kid that was always second guessed,

Would grow up to become the greatest thing this world has ever seen.

Be careful who you mess with.

great

~HAVE A NICE DAY!